I had my upper set of braces put on almost a week ago and now I feel like a bombshell, the inanimate kind, about to explode with all the verbiage my mouth has failed to let out the past week. It feels like hell has been compacted into a single set of dental bling and I can't talk because the insides of my mouth keep on getting torn by the brackets.
Nevertheless, I have developed an ability to do various mouth contortions that range from the typical to the outrageous. I exhibit these when I talk too fast, or try to, and when I eat. As much as I'd love to gain more weight this summer so I'd have something to burn off in college, eating is simply one of the most excruciating challenges when you have braces. For the past week I have been living off oatmeal (keep away from the strawberry flavor. It's purely artificial and tastes worse than antibiotic syrups) and glasses of blended fruit. If only rice and chicken tasted swell when blended. I wouldn't be complaining right now. How I'm surviving is both a mystery and a gift.
Coupled with the mouth contortions, I have created an excellent, and probably the most efficient, laxative. Yesterday I tried to eat slices of watermelon because my stomach was eating my other organs already. Unfortunately, my mouth begged for mercy, so I decided to blend the fruit instead. I have this obsession with milkshakes, and all the while I was wondering why people aren't selling watermelon milkshakes yet. Hours after I gulped down a tall glass of the milkshake, I found out why. The toilet had it coming.
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| Like hell. Image (c) breakfastfoods.wkshops.com |
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| Seduction often leads to trouble. / I totally forgot to take a picture of my masterpiece so please bear with me. Image (c) niyasworld.blogspot.com |
I also watched Eat, Pray, Love the other day and the whole time I was mentally scolding myself. The first part of the film focused on nothing but Italian food, nothing less than my favorite, and I had an empty stomach. I wanted to gobble down a whole pizza myself but I knew better. Calories, I call upon you. My cheekbones are doing runway shows on my face already.
It was quite easy to abstain during the Holy Week, given the circumstances I was under. That's one good thing.
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P.S. Yes, a part of my abstinence was taking three days off the Web. Congratulate me.
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