Imagine this scenario:
You've accidentally cut off your own uvula and you rush to the hospital. You are confused; the blood in your head is being drained out and you are about to pass out due to lack of oxygen and intense pain, and because you saw Miley Cyrus on the way. You bolt into Dr. House's office and ask what to do. Dr. House gives you a questioning look and asks you to wait outside, where he proceeds a couple of minutes later and says, "Read the goddamn instructions before you do anything stupid."
The people in the corridor look at you. You begin to sweat. Schmuck. This is embarrassing. To hell with instructions.
Dr. House continues to holler out insults and ultimately asks, "Where did you finish high school?!"
This happened to me and a friend when we were lining up for our physical exam, a requirement for enrollment. The story would have been fairly believable, except there was no Dr. House, Dr. House isn't as demeaning, and only Miley Cyrus can cut her uvula off with a piece of chicken. What actually happened was, I asked a nurse whether we should wait outside or have our names listed right then and there. I thought the whole issue was resolved when she quietly asked us to wait outside, but then she came out saying, "Read the goddamn instructions before you do anything stupid!"
The funny thing is that she made us go outside, where people were bored and hungry for some student-nurse action, and lashed out at us there. She scolded us for being ignorant and not reading instructions when all of a sudden it came to the subject of our high schools.
Excuse me, Ms. (I believe she is a Ms. If she were married, she wouldn't have crushed our identities) Nurse, but no one ever insults my high school.
I tried my best not to laugh my misery out but the whole scenario was just too frustrating for me. Why did she have to embarrass us in front of people and not just tell us in a civilized manner? Why did she have to shout? Most importantly, why did she have to bring our high schools into the commotion?
I truly, sincerely understand her point but the way she put it across is just utterly barbaric. Last night, while I was replaying the scene and avoiding convulsions caused by anger, an idea popped into my head. Hence, the brainchild:
Defense Against the Dark Nurse
Always come with a friend (or two)
You will barely survive an attack from a Dark Nurse alone. Her powers do not harm the physical shell; instead, she feeds on your self-esteem. You will feel less humiliation if you have someone to share it with.
Bring a cell phone.
This is for escapism purposes. After an attack, people will treat you like an exhibit so it would be best if you have your cell phone to keep you busy, or make you look like you are busy, at the aftermath of an attack.
Wear nice clothes and look presentable.
Comply to this, and people will not think less of you after an attack. Always hold you chin up high, manage a little giggle out, smile at the Dark Nurse and nod like she is giving you the best lesson in life.
Bring a wig and glasses. A mustache is also a good add-on.
In the event that your closet is devoid of any good clothes that day, bring a disguise. Dark Nurses have awfully good memories. They remember almost all of their victims.
Be sociable.
The more friends you have at the infirmary, the less chances you have of feeling embarrassed. Simple math, awkward sentence-construction issues.
Good luck, lassies!
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