You Should Date a Guy Who Reads

Date a guy who reads. Date a guy who knows Don DeLillo, who knows what Kafkaesque means, and who has adapted a cynical outlook because of too much Zafra. Date a guy who always stops by the bookstore and walks through the shelves with as much wonder as when a baby opens his eyes for the first time.

Find a guy who reads. You’ll know he does by the appearance of his messenger bag—bulky or, at other times, loose because he brought nothing else except his unkempt wallet and a hardbound copy of, let’s say, Ludlum’s The Bourne Supremacy. The way he dresses may change from time to time depending on how the main character of the book he is currently reading dresses. His hair isn’t remarkable, but his eyes are because they always look tired—and you will be amazed at how much depth they have.

Find him in one of the local coffee shops, skimming through his latest purchase; then again, he can be hurrying past you to get to the library in time for returning the book that has been overdue because he was distracted by the newspaper. He is that guy sitting on the far side of the bus with earphones on and a copy of Murakami’s Norwegian Wood held tightly in his bony hands. He won’t pay attention to you if you ask to sit beside him. He will be too immersed in the story to even notice he is nearing his stop.

See that guy crouching over Rowling’s last Harry Potter book? Yes, that’s him. He is getting emotional but tries hard not to show it. He grew up with Harry Potter books being dog-eared at random pages and made his first friends by screaming ‘Avada kedavra’ to a crowd.

Let him know that you are interested in literature as much as he is, and that he doesn’t have to go to a bookstore alone to find a book that has been in his reading list for years. Understand his need for introversion—time to reflect on the world is essential to him. Ask him what his take on the commercialization of Shakespeare is, if he supports or is against it, and if he wants to be like Shakespeare someday.

It’s easy to date a guy who reads. Give him classics for Christmas or post-modern fiction for his birthday. Indulge him in the words of Frost, in the wisdom of Buck and in the otherworldly work of Gaiman. Understand that he wants to be recognized for the profundity of his thoughts. Let him know that you want to read his essays, his literary criticisms.

He has given it a shot somehow.

Lie to him. He will comprehend your need to do so because he reads Allen and will be prodded to find the motives behind your action.

Fail him. He will be disappointed but he knows the beauty behind imperfection. Every protagonist has a weakness, and he understands that. He will behold the wonder by which life sews each person’s story. It will not be the end of the world.

Why feel insecure in his absence? That guy who reads appreciates the value of missing.

If you find a guy who reads, be thankful. He will teach you the workings of the world. He will take you to places without moving because his words can paint all kinds of scenery. If you find him sitting alone, sit with him but don’t say anything. He loves the silence. If he feels dejected, listen to him talk but don’t make him feel like a burden. He will do the same things for you more often than you will for him because he knows the worth of a friend.

He is the guy who loves humanity, but abhors human recklessness. He appreciates drama for the art in it. He writes beautifully, every sentence a story in itself with all the honesty his words bring. He will inspire you every time he talks.

Date a guy who reads because you deserve it. Live an exciting life and accept the turmoil, and all the beauty in it.

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